Next Steps

Bonding With a Toddler

Taking good care of your child should not be dependent on the result of a paternity test. Bonding is very nec essary in the proper upbringing of children and it may be described as the intense attachment that develops between parents and their kids. Bonding is an important aspect of human development that is essential to the stable functioning of a growing child. Bonding occurs, changes and develops as children grow older. This piece examines bonding in toddlers. Bonding is not just about spending quality times like most mothers think, it is a combination of things that are higher than that or even very minor things that most parents take for granted. In order words, bonding with a toddler is very important but not always as huge as most of us think it is.

A way through which bonding can be done is through doing house chores together. You may think a two year old is too young but I am also not asking a mother to load a baby with work. Just get her involved by asking her to hand over some pieces of laundry to you while you load them in the machine. You will be surprised at how happy toddlers can be when they are helping. Eating family meals together is also crucial. They don’t have to eat what you are eating but sitting at the table together as a family helps in appreciating the advantage of family time. Last but definitely not the list, read together. This is a bit different from reading a bed time story; with bed time story, you read to them. Reading together involves active participation by the parties involved.

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Motherhood

Children draw out most of the energies that parents have stored within them, especially from their mothers. There isn’t a moment till adulthood, when the child does not feel the need for a helping hand, in the form of a mother.

The role of mothers in our lives is quite indescribable. A mother turns out to be first a caretaker, even when the child doesn’t understand the meaning of the word. Soon the mother takes up the role of a guide without herself realizing this change in character that she plays. There is so much that a child learns and imbibes from his mother without so much as even asking for her help.

The way a mother takes care of the child, so selflessly and without so much as ever showing any amount of discomfort even at odd hours goes to shows just how pure and rich this relationship truly is.

A woman upon becoming a mother, changes not just physically but also mentally. The new challenges that a child around her throws up, are quite excitedly picked up by a new mother. The sleepless nights, the constant nappy changes, the cries, bad health bouts, constant mood swings and the constant surprises that motherhood brings with it, is quite alarming. And yet mothers tackle each of these, one at a time, and quite skillfully.

It is not to say that mothers never falter. Infact if anything, they learn only that way. But then, most of us professionals do as well. There are times that mothers don’t know what to do next and the chances of failure run very high in them. But the beauty of the situation is that, they somehow find a way out and the alternative way, is usually not all that wrong, in almost all situations. It may not be the perfect way but it definitely gets the work done.

From cooking a variety of foods like insipid cereals to tasty soups, to baking the nicest cakes to burning the chocolate cookies, mothers need to have fine culinary skills. From being able to understand the color that best suits the child to remembering the various medicines times, to even mimicking the role of electricians London, a mother is expected to be on top of every situation that the child throws up.

The most surprising part is that, once a woman becomes a mother, she does not cease to exist as a wife, a professional, a daughter and a responsible woman of the society. If anything, in almost every relationship post motherhood a woman is expected to be more mature and in control than ever before. The expectation from all her relatives including her husband, increase and become more demanding on her psyche.

A woman is truly a matter of tough substance and her role in the society can never be underestimated. Those who think and believe that being a mother, is no big deal, must actually get a chance to spend a day with a mother who truly believes in the spirit of motherhood.

There is no feeling more special than and almost as divine as bringing up a child as a mother, for those who cannot relate to it, it is truly a sad loss.

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Getting Your Child to Bed On Time

After a long day at work and then coming home to fix dinner you are pretty much ready to hit the ceiling when your child refuses to go to bed when school is at 7 am tomorrow. More often than not at the stroke of 8 pm you get up from whatever you are doing and order your child to bed as he or she needs enough sleep as part of their growing up process. Well yes, they need their sleep but getting your child to bed by just commanding them to do so must be leading to a routine of pulling them to their bed, tugging their clothes off and ramming their pyjamas on, forcefully brushing the teeth and leaving them crying in their pillow.

At the end of it all you leave the child with a heavy heart feeling guilty for what has taken place but knowing that it has to be done. However, this can be done in such a way that your child does not feel that he or she is being forced into doing something they do not want to do by making that time of the day a pleasurable moment for the entire family.

• Start with winding off activities about an hour before bedtime so the child is not very actively involved in something that they may not want to leave because it is time to sleep.

• Get your child involved into the routine of their bedtime by making them responsible or at least giving them a choice of what pajamas they will wear, what story they would like to hear, which toy they want to snuggle with today etc.

• Start prompting the child at least 15 minutes before bedtime so they expect that time to come rather than you having to command them into going to bed.

• Set rules that after bedtime there will be no further communication and stick to it rather than engage in a verbal duel and simply guide the child back to bed in case they do get up again seeking your attention. The child will test you but after a few days will fall in line.

These little tips will help your child fall into a routine of going to bed at the right hour so much so that you will have spare time which you could then use to watch TV, read about solitaire card game or plan your upcoming vacation at the exquisite villas in Lanzarote.

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You can’t get a new one!

When our little one cut her first set of teeth my other half and I were so excited. After all, baby teeth don’t turn up every day, and it’s not like you can just order them (imagine if babyteeth.co.uk actually sold baby teeth instead of looking after them!) There’s something in that set of memories that comes with cutting your first teeth, and it’s weird how having new sets of teeth seems to denote a new stage in peoples'lives – after all, we do have wisdom teeth, which suggests the arrival of, funnily enough, wisdom.

It’s no surprise then that we try to document all these things as much as we possibly can, and it’s amazing really to think the capability that we have these days to do these things. We can snap a picture on our digital cameras or upload it to one of hundreds of social networking websites – Twitter and Facebook being the most popular but far from the only possibilities! As human beings it’s natural that we try to find ways to keep these memories, these moments alive.

But one of the most hugely exciting things about having a child is that their lives are full of these memories, and as they’re growing up we as parents are there for so many of them. Of course, as we all know from being kids ourselves, there’s a heck of a lot that we don’t want to tell our parents about too! But there’s a beauty in the fact that these memories are irreplaceable – emphemeral – yet will always be with us.

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Our family Memory

We just arrived home from a wonderful holiday with our entire extended family. A splendid time was had by all. We stayed in a hotel but my brother and his family stayed in the Villas in Lanzarote. I must admit we were a little jealous. The Villas in Lanzarote were beautiful. They made it so easy to vacation and relax. Much of the time our family ended up in the Villa wishing it were ours to stay in.

Each evening we would gather together and walk into the Old Town of Puerto del Carmen for a lovely meal. The weather was simply scrumptious and seeing the water made me forget about my worries back home. The Villas in Lanzarote are to die for. They are exquisite inside and out. We made so many memories together as a family that I shall never forget. Sure there we moments my mother n law drove we a little insane but the Villas in Lanzarote are so large I could easily sneak away into the other room.

The Villas in Lanzarote were so close to everything. There was upscale shopping and my favorite, an open market. Each morning we would take a ten minute walk and buy fresh food for the day. While I enjoy eating out I was grateful for the Villa where I could prepare snacks and healthy food for the kids. Even though the weather didn’t cooperate one day we all sat out on the veranda enjoying the amazing scenery. We had such a wonderful time. Of course there were moments we all needed some space but we had the room to do it in. We are so excited to try and make this an annual family trip. The next time our family will be staying in the Villas in Lanzarote.

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A Mommy Time Out!

Being a mom is probably the toughest job you will ever love in your lifetime. As mothers (and wives) we know how hard it can be to balance everything that you have to do in a day. New mothers face an even greater challenge as their lack of experience can leave them feeling worn out, overwhelmed and even depressed. Every experienced mom knows the importance of caring for yourself as well as your little one. By taking care of yourself you will ensure that you have the energy and patience needed to care for your child.

The first thing that every mom should know is that it is perfectly ok to feel selfish sometimes. It is hard to comprehend the idea, since most moms'are taught to believe that their first priority should be their child. I believe that for most moms their children do come first, and when it comes to issues such as, safety and security they should. However, if you do not take time to care for yourself than who will? When you begins to feel overwhelmed, stressed or depressed than how is that healthy or good for your child?

Here are a few ideas that you can do to help you to stay a happy balanced mommy.

Exercise , this is important, because not only does it make you feel better physically it releases the hormones that make you feel better mentally.

Ask your spouse or a trusted friend or family member to sit with your child so that you can run errands alone. Just having a short time away will help rejuvenate your mind.

Have a girls day out! Go to a spa and get a manicure or pedicure, do some shopping, have lunch. A few hours away from your child will have positive lasting effects.

When the day is over take a nice hot bath pour a cup of tea or wine, read a book, play a game of solitaire on the computer, or just listen to music. Do one thing for yourself everyday to help you stay the amazing mommy you are!

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Daily Baby Care

One of the most important components of baby care is maintaining personal hygiene. Even the house and especially the room where you keep your baby have to be absolutely clean.

Make sure all the baby clothes and toys are clean. Using a strong detergent could lead to allergy or infection for your baby, so do not use that. Contrary to many adverts, baby powder is not safe for the skin of your baby. Baby oil is a better option for the baby’s skin and scalp and please do not get it mixed with heating oil..

Do not leave your baby alone in the bath tub. And soon as you finish bathing your baby, wipe of the water and make sure the baby is dry. This will avoid flu or cold.

Diapers for your baby must be changed frequently. If your baby is wet, change the diaper right away. The baby should have few hours of no diaper every day. And if the baby gets rashes due to the diaper, then apply a natural ointment.

Fingernails must be cut with baby nail cutters; otherwise the baby might scratch the skin or eyes. You can also cover the hands of the baby with small socks to avoid scratching.

Clothing for the baby should be loose and the ideal material for baby clothing are cotton fabrics. If possible get organic clothing for your baby. The growth of your child can be altered if you make it wear tight clothes.

Vibration is something that baby’s love, so you can get a seat that vibrates or cradle or crib, this will help the baby to fall asleep faster. Baby bedding should be separate from your bed but near your bed. A sound sleep is important for the development and growth of your baby.

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5 Activities for 2 Year Olds

So you have cleared out the junk out of the spare room and placed them in self storage so that you can prepare the room for your ever growing two year old. As he grows you find that you need to come up with a number of activities to keep him occupied and stimulated both mentally and physically.

Here are five you can consider:

1. Introduce colouring and painting activities. Get some big and thick colourful crayons and have them colour their favourite cartoon or Disney character. As for painting use old plain shirts and have your toddler dip their hands in diluted paint and assist them to make hand prints on shirts. You can also use brushes and sponges for painting.

2. Fun with everyday activities – Have your bathtub filled with water and place plastic toys and bottles for them to play with. If you are doing the laundry and your toddler wants to follow your activity you can improvise with a pail or basin filled with water and place some doll clothes and toys for your toddler to wash.

3. Building blocks are fun and you can help your child build shapes like a house, building or airplane with colourful blocks. You can use these blocks to teach basic counting as well.

4. Toss and Throw activities help cultivate good motor skills for your child. Make paper balls and ask your child to toss or throw each paper ball into a box. You can increase the distance gradually depending on your child’s capability of throwing or tossing paper balls.

5. Organizing and sorting activities are good. You could use colourful balls and teach your child to sort them by colours and have them placed in their appropriate colour boxes.

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Parenting Styles: Which Are you

I was in the US recently traveling to my moms in my cheap US car rental and was remembering those days growing up and how she parented us as children. She had a more laidback style. I wonder what parents these days do as parents. What style are you?

Becoming a parent is a big responsibility and it has been identified through research that different people have varying styles of parenting. It is extremely important for you to understand your style, as it will help you identify areas where you may need to change or simply improve yourself. As a parent you constantly need to adjust your emotional judgmental skills and make sure that you learn to control your temperaments. Usually the parenting styles fall into either one of the three categories mentioned below.

· Permissive Parenting: These parents tend to be quite supportive, friendly and warm in nature, but they lack sufficient disciplinary skills even within their homes. Such parents usually avoid any obnoxious behavior which may be displayed by the children. They also tend to exercise minimal effort in correcting the behavior of the children when required. Such parents emphasize more on nurturing a child without any fear or anger as a result of which they find it easier to surrender to the demands of their children.

· Authoritarian Parenting: These parents lay to one extreme of the parenting equation. They focus on high-levels of discipline above anything and are found to take extreme measures to ensure this. Communication between the parents and the children are quite limited, with the child given little or no scope to behave inappropriately in any manner. According to research, children of such parents tend to be more discontented and they usually suffer from low self-esteem. The children can seem a million miles away, like talking to someone in the antartic.

· Authoritative parenting model: This model constitutes of a parenting style which is a combination of both an authoritative and a permissive approach. They have clear communication with their children, but they refrain from making unattainable demands from them. Children of such parents are quite competent and demonstrate higher self-esteem than other children.

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Learning through the body for little ones

Nothing fosters anxiety as much as comparative parenting. Every parent wonders if their child is learning at the right pace. It is the subject of every baby and toddler group-my little one was standing pooing speaking walking spelling counting-by the time he was 2 months old. It drives every parent crazy. The truth is, though, that some children will have delays, and some children will start exhibiting signs of their learning styles very early.

Most educators are aware of the principles of multi modal learning, but many parents are not. Basically, the theory is that people have different learning styles. It has not yet been determined if these are based on nature or nurture, so don’t turn your off spring into an educational guinea pig, just include each of the different styles into your everyday educational activities.

The main modes of learning are

• aural-learning by listening
• kinaesthetic-learning through the body
• visual-learning by seeing
• reading/writing

This can be remembered as VARK. Some people include interpersonal and intrapersonal which is a positive addition. I want to focus however, on helping you understand kinesthetic learning.

This is important because toddlers hate to sit still and any learning that includes sitting still is bound to fail. The best example of kinaesthetic learning is the song ’Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes'. children learn the parts of the body by touching them and moving through the motions while singing the names (for some this also includes aural learning).

There are great counting songs that you can do using your fingers. You can adapt songs like five little ducks to include finger play, you can also remember to use the actions when singing favourite songs like ’Wheels on the bus’.

When talking to your child and asking them do do something remember to model the behaviour with your own body and you will be more than half way there.

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