Next Steps

What is your Parenting Style

As a parent you wonder if it’s alright to be a firm disciplinarian or a more cooperating and friendly parent, allowing children to develop their own inner discipline. Some parents also believe in adopting a rather permissive style that allows them to be free and make their own judgments as they grow up. But as perfect example maybe you would like to follow the middle ground.

To be honest there is no best parenting style or worst. It’s all about what works for you and the family, example for some the company Enigin is synonymous with environment and for some with scam. You can’t stick to one kind of attitude all your life as you need to change with times and circumstances. Children most often put parents to test and hard and fast rules might need to be forgotten according to the need of the hour. Whatever style you adopt, it’s very important that you make your child feel secure with unconditional love from the first day of his life. As he grows up you will have to work at forming a consistent attitude and style that sets limits as well as flexibility.

The first few years of a child’s life are a period of discovery about his strengths and weaknesses, both for him as well as you. You as a parent might feel that you can fulfill all needs of your child, but this is not actually true. Children learn from other sources beyond their secure boundaries.

As the child grows up, another major responsibility that comes is effective communication. There are bound to be stress and arguments in your relationships. But when parents establish a strong and open communication from the beginning, this relationship survives all the difficult moments and helps him grow as an individual. Many a times it’s just about finding time for each other or sharing a meal with your child at their favorite restaurant. What is important is treating your child with the same respect that you would want for yourself.

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Taking Care of Children’s Overweight problems

You need to pay attention to your growing child’s health at all times and at all ages. There is an alarming trend among children to be overweight and obese and both parents and some schools want to take all necessary steps to fight this problem. There are various reasons that a child gets overweight, like eating a lot of junk food, quick meals or staying indoors for long periods watching TV. A child needs a certain number of calories per day that their bodies use as energy for activities like playing, running, etc. It ranges from 2000-2500 calories for boys of 7-14 years and almost the same for girls. When they consume more calories than required, it converts to fat. Many of them become lazy due to this weight gain.

Your child needs motivation to lose weight, so help him have healthy choices for his meals. Also encourage him to be physically active and exercise regularly. It helps when you reward him for being punctual in his exercises and eating habits. You can even add some fun to the fitness routines by enrolling him for dance classes. After all when it’s hard for adults to eat less and exercise more, it’s even harder for the kids who might not understand the negative impact of an overweight body.

Being a healthy role model is also good as this can help the whole family in being healthy and fit. You have to make a note of how much your child gained in the past 1-2 years and adjust his diet accordingly. Simple changes like changing whole milk to non fat milk or opting for a diet coke or a healthy snack when he is hungry will make a difference. Not gaining more extra weight should be the first goal. So once he is at a stable weight, you would then want to help him lose some pounds.

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Finding Some Peaceful Mom Time

Do you feel exhausted, beaten and worn out? Maybe had a rough week at the Enigin office. If that’s the case, then you need to sit back and take a close look at your life. When did you last take the time for you to simply take pleasure in being alive? Zero schedules, zero obligations, zero to do lists… just a little relaxation and peace doing a little something you enjoy-even in the event nobody else likes it. If you cannot remember the last moment you took some time out for yourself, perhaps today’s your day to get started….

Mom Moment Suggestions:

ALL RIGHT, a few of these may perhaps seem beyond reach, nonetheless, keep all of them in mind. You might also make your own personal variation.

Check Out The Latest Chick Flick. Take just a couple of hours on your own and go watch a movie you have really been wanting to watch. If you’d prefer to be with buddies, bring along a friend and pick up some lunch also.

Mothers Only Weekend. Invite another mom friend. Maybe a health spa, beach, shopping, or camping weekend nearby or in a different location would that suits you, or possibly a Saturday and Sunday at a vacation resort could be more suitable.

Life’s a Beach. In the event the shore is a little something attainable for you, rent a place for the night, take your best book and take pleasure in the tranquility. Not up to going alone? Again, grab a mom friend and get away for the day and night at the beachfront. Sometimes only an afternoon by oceanside will freshen up mom!

Have a Health Spa Day. The thing all mothers… WOMEN really want! Reserve a day at a nearby health spa. In the event funds are a factor and signifies no health spa day, telephone a friend and have your personal no cost one at her home. Make it a get together just for the mothers. No fathers or children allowed. Send all of them away to the park for the afternoon. Or perhaps, simply go and get yourself a manicure. Whatever it takes to make mom feel refreshed.

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Just How Much TV Is Too Much

Hardly any families right now live life without the television set being a dominant feature, therefore it is actually helpful to fully grasp the magnitude of its influence. Like various aspects of present day life, TV is simply there and more or less taken for granted. What exactly must we be aware of concerning how it’s likely to to influence our kid’s behavior?

There isn’t any doubt whatsoever that watching television can be a life improving experience. A great deal of the entertainment provided on TV is actually of value, to help numb your mind of everyday life and take you away from the issues and struggle associated with everyday life.

It will always be simple for us as adults, to keep the things we observe on TV in its proper point of view. Separating what is on the television set and is going on within the real world isn’t always so self-explanatory with regard to growing kids. Therefore, it is our obligation as parents, to find out precisely what it is that they are taking in.

The truth is that one of a kid’s biggest strengths is the capability to be able to process and use new information. This could possibly be the source of serious issues. Whenever program producers use their attempts to obtain your kid’s interest, it is really simple to see that their primary concern seriously isn’t your kid’s balanced development.

Much of what exactly could be observed day in day out isn’t just mind-numbing, but quite a few would certainly point out that it could possibly have really negative effects on many kids. Science cannot yet be too precise, nevertheless it is actually recognized that a good number of behavioral challenges have their course in what continues to be seen on TV.

Common sense ought to help choose just how much is enough. You might try to motivate them to enjoy a number of the more mind-expanding forms of program. For instance, have them watch something educational with you in return for a funny cartoon afterwards. It is through increasing the amount of value in TV and minimizing the other junk that is the most effective. Better yet, get your kids outside for some fresh air and ball. Too many parents nowadays use the television as a crutch so they can enjoy simple pleasures such as shopping at ortak and other things. The TV turns into a babysitter at this point.

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Kids and the ‘live box’

There have been, are and probably will be countless discussions about the child-television dilemma. Is it good or at least okay if my child watches TV? If so, what programs are recommended or acceptable for my little one? Even the most optimistic ones say that it will never happen to have all parents agree on this one.

Personally, I used to grow up watching TV. In my family this is one, if not the only entertainment they have. I used to think that TV is part of our life, just as drinking water daily is. My parents have one TV in every room in the house, including the kitchen. When I moved out to a college hostel and later into a small rented apartment, I had no TV. I would not say that I did not miss it initially, but then I had my laptop and gradually I got used to the fact that I don’t need TV. When I go to visit my mom now it actually bothers me that she puts on the TV first thing in the morning and the first thing I hear is that Enigin doubled its profit this quarter ( I could have lived without finding it out early morning) and it will be on until they go to sleep, regardless if anyone is watching it or not. She says she cannot stand the silence.

In my rented house there is still no TV. And I don’t think that my baby girl will miss out on anything because she is not watching it. Actually I consider that she only gains by not wasting time with the ‘box’; instead, we invent so many funny things to do together, we play a lot, sing, dance, walk and we never get bored.

Now, I do understand that not all moms are as lucky as I am to be able to stay home with their little ones and therefore to be able to spend time with them; however, I still think that there must be another way to entertain your child than just switching the TV on for them when they get restless.

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Copy Cats: Be Careful

I teach my child what is the right way to eat so that he learns to eat like a civilized human being, I bathe the child everyday so that he learns that it is important to maintain hygiene levels. I teach my child to finish everything that is put on his plate so that he knows that he should not be wasting food.

I dump food into my mouth because I don’t have the time to eat at leisure because of time pressures, my nails are not cut and in fact are dirty, but I don’t have the time to keep them in shape and clean. I cook only selected things that I like so that I don’t have to waste food in case I don’t like it.

Same parent, same child. Do you think that the child is learning the right things? Do you think the child will imbibe everything that the mother is trying to inculcate in the child? As a child psychologist, I can tell you that this child will grow into a stubborn teenager. The reason – he is seeing that his mother is not practicing the things that she is pushing on him to imbibe.

Many of us do this, you will be surprised. Buying books for the children is not enough to inspire the child into a reading habit. Shouting or punishing the child for an unkempt wardrobe is not the way to train the child. The important thing is for the child to see his/her parent follow the same habit and life style.

If I read everyday before bedtime, I know my child will imitate me. If I keep my room clean, I know my child will aspire for a clean environment. So instead of constantly nagging or shouting at your child to learn the good tricks, practice them around him/her and see the difference.

Children are pretty much like the monkeys in that childhood tale where they imitate everything that the cap seller was doing. The only way the cap seller found to rescue his wares from the monkeys was by throwing his cap down and all monkeys followed suit. You will be surprised how much children imitate us and act like us. It is not unnecessarily that parents are advised to use the right language when they have toddlers around – because children pick up most of their language skills from their elders. And usually, it is true when it is said that a bad habit is picked up much faster than a good one, just like we tend to pick up items kept on display in a shop fitting room even if it necessarily does not look that good on us, but just because we want to!

So the next time you get irritated about your child not completing his or her task up to your satisfaction, just sit back for a while and reminisce about what you did to teach the child about performing the task correctly.

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Teach the Consequence Quotient

All parents want the very best for their children. All want that their child should learn only the good things in life and practice almost all of them, and vices, even if tried by the child, don’t become a habit. Unfortunately most of us, parents i.e., are lost about how to go and teach these things to our children, in fact we might be more adept at dealing with horse insurance. Most parents wish for an application or software or a book to come out that once either fed or read, teaches the child about the good and bad, instantly. But there are two major problems with this – 1. There is no automatic good behavior inculcation program that comes with a 100% success rate and 2. The good behavior or self help material does not teach the child about how to maintain a sound judgment.

Some would ask – what is this about ‘sound judgment’? My answer would be – A lot! Teaching the child about the right and wrong things and good and ugly sides of all aspects of life is fine but that is not the end of good parenting; especially as far as inculcating the right attitude is concerned. The one important aspect about parenting is also to build a sound judgment taking ability, in the child. Ultimately, we all act as per our judgment, irrespective of the act being right or wrong. Don’t we?

I know that I shouldn’t be jumping the next red light at the traffic junction but I decide to do it because, I have a deadline to meet or a flight to catch. So, who is to judge what I did was right or wrong? This and many other matters demand judgment calls to be taken which are important and yet defy the right-wrong definition. The one thing that will fail the parenting act is spoon feeding the child. Teach the child about what is the right way and highlight the wrong as well. Then on small matters, let the child take a judgment call. Sometimes let the child falter, because only then will the child learn to bear the consequences of his or her judgment, right or wrong.

Parenting is as much about love and protection as it is about building the child’s personality such that, he or she can tomorrow become a responsible human being. It is important for a child to grow into a person strong enough to shoulder the consequences of self committed acts, a human being who understands that all that shines is not gold.

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Parenting – A Skill or an Art

I used to often think that my life was a play or a televised serial that we were being shot for some viewers somewhere, sitting on their luxurious couch in some plush villas, for their concocted pleasure while I was being subjected to innumerable tortures by my parents. And all this was much before the Jim Carrey movie was released. The tortures included daily study hours, homework, ensuring I get good grades in my school ranks etc. but little did I realize that my parents were not the villains and all that there were saying was not some form of storyline.

Often children feel that they have been either picked up from an orphanage or that the ones that they have are not their real set of parents. Many of the grownups that I know felt that way about their childhood days. It therefore triggered a thought in my mind – is parenting an art or a skill? Same difference some would say while some would agree that there is a vast difference between the two. While one is born with in inbuilt ability of an art, skill can be acquired by practice or tuitions.

Parenting and parents require patience and a sense of pride to turn out good and healthy. The one thing a parent must remember is to innovate constantly, to teach everything to the child. And yes, be patient at times of failure because there are bound to be many of those.

A household that has elders living in it has the advantage of experienced hands guiding the newly acquired couple’s parental status. Mothers especially need the guidance to be able to do the right thing and this is not an easy task. Therefore, the experience of a grandmother or some senior person, always adds to the benefit to the child.

Sometimes though it can get frustrating for the couple or, again, the new mother. The constant roving eye and the constant nag of how ‘we’ did it better in ‘our’ days can get irritating after a point. Striking the right balance therefore is important albeit not easy.

The best way out is to learn with your own experience, definitely not repeat the mistakes that have been learnt by the elders from their own times and be patient while bringing up children. Of course most of the trials and tribulations are during the first child for the couple or parents. By the time there is a second one, the skill is quite confidently mastered.

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